My Life, My Story

Well..it's been a long time I never cry in front of people who I don't really know well. I have this tendency, this strong self-protection, for not letting people to know the true me, though I'm very straight forward, but to some extent, I'm still keeping my "true color"...the so-called fragile heart. And Dr.Shan is right, deep inside my heart, I really hoping for someone who can understand me, who can read my mind, who knows that I need someone to protect me, to care about me as well. Unlike my usual style, who laugh like crazy, who scold people loudly...

"How do u know, sir?" I'm asking him with shocked. Like, he can tell everything about me, everything that even my BFFs won't have known as well. My curiosity, my nervous, my doubtfulness, my lack of confidence, all just BINGO in a second since the moment I walked into his room. =.= Am I writing on my face? I wonder...

It is a morning when I have to get to campus just to submit a stupid project, and my plan was just to check my carry marks since I got some times. Well...it just an "impromptu" (Dr.Shan teach me that =P) decision and actually I don't really feel like seeing him. =.="" Why? Emm...I don't know, well, actually I can feel that there is something about him to me, a care I would said. It just...ya...like usual, I tend to protect myself, and hence, I make assumption. I just assume that he would like other lecturers, who don't give out their cellphone number, who always seeking for "opportunity" to get a free helper. =.= Argh...How stupid am I? I should have realize he is unlike the other lecturers, since I have already realize his passion in term of teaching. OH...silly me....I put him same as the other lecturers...think I should apologize to him, "Sorry Dr. Shan..=( "

"I was waiting for u","I was hoping u to come","I was asking many things about u from the other students","U are my good student","I see talent in u, I don't want u to waste your talent","I want to help u","U have my assurance,Kim Hong".....T_T I was so touching sir, I never thought I can mean something to anybody, especially you. You sound like I'm a shining star for you, even if this is not so true, I'm still glad and thankful to have this nearly one hour talk to you. Sorry for keeping you to wait...I'm kinda slow in reacting...I'm not proactive like you said. Feel bad to know about that. =(

But, I really wanna thank you for all that. You are indeed a good lecturer, thanks again for the 4 words u give me. A-Attitude, B-Behavior, C-Committed, D-Discipline. I shall remember that, remember it for the rest of my life, "change your attitude, be positive, be good, and attitude will drive your behavior, be committed, take action for whatever decision you have made, and turn out you will be discipline person in life. ;) " This is what I summarize from what u had told me this morning. How wonderful, how lovely~~ ^^

Today is a lucky day, I'm lucky to make up the decision to see you, I'm lucky to meet you in room, I'm lucky to talk to you, and lastly I'm so so so lucky to have you as my lecturer. Hahaha...I love you sir, muakz muakz muakz~~~ =PPP